hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
