Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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