She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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