Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize