His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
please come you make the beer taste better
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize