you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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