so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
