I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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