I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
