oh god the rape fog is back!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
