forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
