At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
