At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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