Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
