How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I looked at my own cervix.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize