yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
