Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
