Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
