so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
