im gay
i know
yea but for you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
