I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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