me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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