literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize