it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
