Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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