I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
