i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
