quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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