just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
