It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So here I am, sexting at work.
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