Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I will pee on everything he values.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
