whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
