It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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