Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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