we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
