what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
As shirtless as possible
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
