just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
