covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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