i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
