I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
