do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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