Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I pour the whiskey from now on
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
