Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
