Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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