Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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