She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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