Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
