You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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