Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
