I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
