I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
