Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
